Important Moments In The History of Rocks
Rocks have been around since near the beggining of the Universe, although back then they were probably mostly superheated gases and plasmas. They were instrumental in every aspect of the Universe's development, and our own planet's specifically. It was rocks that forced aquatic creatures to evolve into amphibious and eventually land-dwelling animals, rocks from space that killed off the dinosaurs, and rocks have played an important role in human history as well. For instance, did you know that a total of 4 U.S. Presidents were, in fact, rocks? After retirement, they all moved to a mountain, where they currently live. Except for being inanimate and all... Photographic eveidence of this can be seen right here:
Each of these rocks accomplished great things for their country, including things that happened thousands of years before it actually was a country. Not all rocks have worked for the betterment of the world however, since it is a well known fact that Mrs. O'Leary's cow's rock started the Great Chicago Fire, burning down a good portion of the city. In many areas, only rocks survived. Also, it has recently been statistically proven by a wayward chimp with a calculator that Atilla The Hun had a pet rock. It is believed that this rock was secretly the mastermind of his barbarian hordes. Atilla was a figurehead who took his orders from one of the most blood-lusting rocks ever to have been. Only when the rock was accidentally placed in a gravel pit and could not be identified and retrieved did its reign of terror finally end. So always remember: Behind every great man, is an even greater rock.